This is my announcement publicly that I am throwing my hat into the 2012 presidential campaign. I don’t want to fill out paperwork and get all the signatures so you will have to pencil my name in….just remember its Elliott with 2 t’s.
Here is my platform….
- All political races will be determined by popular vote, goodbye electorate.
- The president will make the average annual amount for the American family (2011=$39,000)
- Deadlocked congress will always be decided by rho-sham-BO, best 2 out of 3.
- Abortion will be illegal, but adoption will become much more readily available and almost free. There will be parents for those babies.
- Senators and congressmen, as well as the president will have the same health care as medicare patients.
- The federal government will get rid of the department of education, it will be the states to educate kids.
- There will be a balanced budget every year. We will pay off our debt. It is ridiculous that we continue to spend more than we earn and expect the American family not to
- I will reinstate the gold standard, our money has to become worth something.
- The president will sell Air Force one, probably to Jay-Z, and ride coach everywhere.
- I will also, as president, sell Camp David, to pay off the countries debt.
- There will be no speed limit in the desert of Nevada, its like the autobahn.
- I will change the Baseball season to no more than 30 games, after that nobody cares. (same with basketball)
- I will make all the Whitehouse staff paid out of my pocket, no more of the tax payer paying for my chef.
- I will sell territories like American Samoa on ebay to the highest bidder (probably Bill Gates) to pay off the debt.
- Before my State of the Union address, I will tell a very funny joke
- And while on that subject, no more of this standing and clapping and sitting, you all will be seated, and listen, I worked hard on this speech so let me say it.
- My Secretary of Defense will be the Dali Lama
- Flat tax, period. No write-offs no minimum, nothing like that. You wont have to have a degree in advanced mathematics to do your taxes.
- You cannot put more money into political ads than you give to charity
- I will adopt a pit-bull as the white house dog
- Most importantly I will have a facebook poll for my vice president, the winner will become my vice president.
So Remember during the primaries, Justin C. Elliott with two t’s. Pencil it in!
If you were running for president, what would your platform be?
In Him,
JC Elliott
PS: If you think I would make a mockery of the position by doing these things, look at what the current government is already doing!
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Anonymous
/ January 18, 2012You’re not old enough dude!
JC
/ January 19, 2012You’re right, my first order of business….lower the age requirement.
danger
/ January 29, 2012You will have my vote if you change your mind on the following: no rho-sham bo. Instead, presidents party brakes vote. Dont even think of changeing baseball. (but your right about basketball) We need not sell of our territories, wait for the market to get better.